Hi people,
This one is about a really rough ride in a really normal bus at Kolkata. Arjun my dear chum from law school started his internship at HRLN Kolkata today. Now both of us had to go on the same route so we decided that rather than the usual auto that 'apparates' us to and from our destinations(Harry Potter terminology), we will avail the golden gift of the WB government and use the Blue buses.
Well for once I really love Verma Ji or as the girls call him Verma Bhaiyya.... The bus, the yellow monster at HNLU. However, as far as the town buses of Kolkata are concerned... Well these are best called as blue torture mahines, ever eco-friendly and customer friendly, they are thrown mercilessly on the cluttered streets of Kolkata. Two glasses of water is what poor me had gulped down before I ventured out of Arjun's place for my law entrance coaching at LST... Ofcourse I had the sun in mind when I drank the water, little was I to know that the grisly laughter of the crowded buses would haunt me for days to come.
The bus.... Oh! disgusting. Ok first of all the obvious thing is that u dont have seats because as always everything is filled up. This is the law of state transport services the seats are all filled up right before you climb the bus. Now, just like the perfect 'Ramsay Production' horror movie the moment u think its safe to stand at ease... Voila!! there is this massive turn or a huge brake as if its the end of the world and the armageddon heroes have to save you, boy trust me you really have to manage urself from falling.
One fat lady (past middle age) was not so lucky and ultimately she produced an image of a cartoon fluttering wildly in the air holding onto one rod and clinging on till that last moment after which the fury of the swerve overcame her sweat lubricated palms and the poor woman fell face first crashing into at least four pairs of legs.
Well nothing stops the blue juggernauts and the roaring engines kept chugging along even as people helped her out. Oh no! I didnt help her... there was too much fast bangla lingo in the air for me to really understand what was being talked of. Ok so after about 7 mins into the journey after I had climbed and after our dear woman is back on her feet, there is no scope for anyone falling anymore? Why... well Kolkata buses after a particular point get so crowded that u dont quite have spatial sovreignty over a reasonable area to actually fall down. You just stand there sweating as bad a pig and about the time when u feel dehydrated, nauseated, pushed, sandwiched and physically demolished, the stop arrives and you get down to live another life and to live another day.
My shirt was history and I looked like I would be thrown out of LST with the amount of water loss that I had had... my black mass of flesh and sloshed clothing looked somewhat like a corporate guy coming staright out of a gladiator match. What with all the other people pushing around with discernibly aggressive bengali language being wildly thrown at each other, I really had a tough time keeping my feet, my hands and my ever needful bag in tandem.... Well then right just when I was about to give up...the most active guy sprayed out that elixir of life... the conductor screamed Deshapriya Park!!...
There there I had made it alive..... Freedom I thought! I will miss the aroma though...the perfect mixture of perfume, talcum and sweat... I got down wishing Arjun all the best for his day 1 at HRLN and definitely wishing and deciding that these buses are not for me...
HNLU where art thou.... Vermaji where art thou..... To the dear yellow bus that takes us back and forth to the hostel and to vermaji the dear old driver .... Live well and live long...
To the blue kolkata buses...Thank you for what the state transport department calls bus rides and I call... 'A worth blogging experience'.
Ok then till I find some other fatal incidents happeneing to me or perhaps when I am in my mood to say HOWEVER...
Adios
April 24th, 2006.
This one is about a really rough ride in a really normal bus at Kolkata. Arjun my dear chum from law school started his internship at HRLN Kolkata today. Now both of us had to go on the same route so we decided that rather than the usual auto that 'apparates' us to and from our destinations(Harry Potter terminology), we will avail the golden gift of the WB government and use the Blue buses.
Well for once I really love Verma Ji or as the girls call him Verma Bhaiyya.... The bus, the yellow monster at HNLU. However, as far as the town buses of Kolkata are concerned... Well these are best called as blue torture mahines, ever eco-friendly and customer friendly, they are thrown mercilessly on the cluttered streets of Kolkata. Two glasses of water is what poor me had gulped down before I ventured out of Arjun's place for my law entrance coaching at LST... Ofcourse I had the sun in mind when I drank the water, little was I to know that the grisly laughter of the crowded buses would haunt me for days to come.
The bus.... Oh! disgusting. Ok first of all the obvious thing is that u dont have seats because as always everything is filled up. This is the law of state transport services the seats are all filled up right before you climb the bus. Now, just like the perfect 'Ramsay Production' horror movie the moment u think its safe to stand at ease... Voila!! there is this massive turn or a huge brake as if its the end of the world and the armageddon heroes have to save you, boy trust me you really have to manage urself from falling.
One fat lady (past middle age) was not so lucky and ultimately she produced an image of a cartoon fluttering wildly in the air holding onto one rod and clinging on till that last moment after which the fury of the swerve overcame her sweat lubricated palms and the poor woman fell face first crashing into at least four pairs of legs.
Well nothing stops the blue juggernauts and the roaring engines kept chugging along even as people helped her out. Oh no! I didnt help her... there was too much fast bangla lingo in the air for me to really understand what was being talked of. Ok so after about 7 mins into the journey after I had climbed and after our dear woman is back on her feet, there is no scope for anyone falling anymore? Why... well Kolkata buses after a particular point get so crowded that u dont quite have spatial sovreignty over a reasonable area to actually fall down. You just stand there sweating as bad a pig and about the time when u feel dehydrated, nauseated, pushed, sandwiched and physically demolished, the stop arrives and you get down to live another life and to live another day.
My shirt was history and I looked like I would be thrown out of LST with the amount of water loss that I had had... my black mass of flesh and sloshed clothing looked somewhat like a corporate guy coming staright out of a gladiator match. What with all the other people pushing around with discernibly aggressive bengali language being wildly thrown at each other, I really had a tough time keeping my feet, my hands and my ever needful bag in tandem.... Well then right just when I was about to give up...the most active guy sprayed out that elixir of life... the conductor screamed Deshapriya Park!!...
There there I had made it alive..... Freedom I thought! I will miss the aroma though...the perfect mixture of perfume, talcum and sweat... I got down wishing Arjun all the best for his day 1 at HRLN and definitely wishing and deciding that these buses are not for me...
HNLU where art thou.... Vermaji where art thou..... To the dear yellow bus that takes us back and forth to the hostel and to vermaji the dear old driver .... Live well and live long...
To the blue kolkata buses...Thank you for what the state transport department calls bus rides and I call... 'A worth blogging experience'.
Ok then till I find some other fatal incidents happeneing to me or perhaps when I am in my mood to say HOWEVER...
Adios
April 24th, 2006.
2 comments:
Interesting! However, be sure to keep posting without fail!!
*shudder*
Hail the Bombay BESTs!
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